Commitment vs. Trying: Why trying is not good enough

Recently a client came in for a coaching session, he was all frustrated about not losing weight, and was pretty upset because, as far as he was concerned, he was doing everything right but still a good fifteen pounds overweight.    I thought if what he said was true, then the weight would not and should not be an issue.   I mentioned this to him and he still insisted he was doing everything right; he was going to the gym 3-5 times per week, takes part in the aerobic classes, does weight training and eats regular meals, no skipping of meals.  So that got me thinking there must be something more, something he was not telling me either because he wasn’t aware of it or just didn’t think this something more was important enough.  
We agreed to do an assessment, not only of his exercise routine, but his meals as well as his commitments inside the home and outside the home.  A number of ‘things’ showed up that this client was committed to but that were clearly getting in the way of achieving his true goals of weight loss.   He commutes to the city everyday for work; this translates into a 1.5 hour round trip just sitting in the car.  On top of this both he and his wife work for the same company and start work the same time, this means their two young children ( both under 5 years old)  are driven to daycare in the city, to be dropped off before the client starts work at 7:00am.   It doesn’t stop here; both children are heavily involved in evening activities during the week and on the weekend.

By the time they get home from the city it is 6:00pm, the children usually have an event shortly after, they barely have time to eat dinner. They grab whatever is at hand to eat as neither he nor his wife has the time to prepare meals.  By the time they get back home, it is 8:30pm; the children are climbing the walls by now as they are tired! Here is the clincher, this client is also in school and needs the evenings to get readings and homework done! He admits they only have one day, Sunday to ‘rest’ at which time they are so exhausted they can’t even make the effort to prepare meals, do laundry and other household chores.   

Both he and his wife had committed to a life that was not conducive to a healthy lifestyle.  They were trying to make healthy lifestyle choices but were committed to being busy.  When this was pointed out to him, he acknowledged that the current lifestyle pace both he and his wife were on is very taxing but it’s what he knows as that was how he was raised.  

What can he do differently to achieve more balance in his life?  We discussed the following questions to help him recognize what he is committed to versus what he is trying. The truth is always in the results: The following 3 powerful questions can create clarity for what you are truly committed to and what you are trying to do.

  1. What is the most important priority in your life that you are committed to right now?
  2. Should this be number one?
  3. How happy are you with the results from this commitment?

Commitment leaves no room for doubt, error, or subscribing to other people’s values, these are signs of trying.   Commitment always translates into taking action and this always produces result.   The key to knowing if what you say you are committed to should be your number one priority, just take a look at the results you are getting.

A Life Coach is a great resource to use to help you create a life plan.  A Coach will work with you to provide tangible results and support you in transferring these results in all other aspects of your life.  A coach will support you to be accountable to your self-development goals, as well as stop to celebrate your achievements along the way.  

Keep Well…Phyllis