When you get squeezed, what comes out?

“When your back is against the wall, that’s when your true self shines” _Unknown

About 5 years ago I had the privilege of working with a client who was referred to me by his physician for diabetes coaching. As is usual, he completed the intake form listing weight loss as his reason for the consultation.

Further on in the intake form he was asked to list any obstacles/barriers that could prevent him from achieving his goals. He listed himself and went on to describe how he eats no matter what. It didn’t matter if he was truly hungry or if he was full- he eats. His weight and consequently diabetes had gotten out of hand.

At the session we got to talking about why he came to see me and what it would take for him to feel he has accomplished his goal. To make a long story short, we discussed the fundamentals of diabetes management through healthy eating, exercise and overall lifestyle management.

Yet, he kept bringing up his spouses’ mother who was living with them at the time. I noticed this and asked if he would like to talk about this living arrangement. It quickly became clear he was feeling neglected by his spouse because she had committed to caring for her dying mother at home.

This was going on for 6-months now.  He felt guilty for feeling that way but proceeded to describe their 30years of marriage excluding the past year, as he being the sole recipient of his spouse’s attention. Now he feels there is no attention given him and he resented his mother-in-law. He was feeling squeezed.

Through coaching we identified the crux of his eating issues. By asking him key questions that raised his awareness around the importance of taking the attention off himself and focusing it on his spouse and her mother, he identified just how selfish he was being- this was his own conclusion!

We had a few more sessions with each session he identified how he was able to engage in the process of caring for his spouse and her mother- he was truly amazed at how good that made him feel.

So who are you when you get squeezed? Watch your actions, your words and overall thought processes when you are faced with a difficult situation, a person you see as being difficult or a task that seems insurmountable. Your true character will shine.  If you identify a characteristic about you that you would like to replace with a more positive characteristic coach yourself out of it as follows:

  1. Is this who I intend to be?  If you answer no, follow with:
  2. What characteristic do I desire to show when I get squeezed? Once you identify the characteristic ask the following question:
  3. What actions will I need to take to make this trait a permanent part of who I am in challenging situations?
  4. What results will I see that will tell me the new desired trait is being practised?
  5. How will I evaluate my character to know I am indeed who I desire to be when I get squeezed?

A Life Coach is a great resource to use to help you create a life plan.  A Coach will work with you to provide tangible results and support you in transferring these results in all other aspects of your life.  A coach will support you to be accountable to your self-development goals, as well as stop to celebrate your achievements along the way.

Live Well…Phyllis

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